The last couple of days have been epic. Lauren and I have always gone to concerts together. It’s our thing. We have had many moments that I’ve thought could not be beat. But, I really don’t know what could ever beat this. The forum was packed. Sold out. And the Italians were raging. The energy was beyond compare.

There was a woman in my life who passed away a few months ago. She suffered from severe mental illness and eventually it won out and she committed suicide. Although I know she is where she wanted to be, I struggled with her death because I felt that I should have tried to do more to help her. There was nothing I could have done. I know that now. But knowing doesn’t always make it easier. Misty was her own woman and unapologetic for it. She was a true music lover. I had a moment during the show where, very randomly, I felt like she was there, looking down on me and rocking out to the music. I felt a sense of peace and for the first time, since her death, I felt like she was very much alive and ok. Not just ok, but happy and free. Finally free. It was weird, and surreal, and intense, and beautiful. There is nothing about death that I understand. But I know that I understand more than I did before this.

“Serve God love me and mend
This is not the end
Lived unbruised we are friends
And I’m sorry
I’m sorry

Sigh no more, no more
One foot in sea, one on shore
My heart was never pure
And you know me
And you know me

And man is a giddy thing
Oh man is a giddy thing
Oh man is a giddy thing
Oh man is a giddy thing

Love it will not betray you, dismay or enslave you,
It will set you free
Be more like the man you were made to be.
There is a design, an alignment, a cry
Of my heart to see,
The beauty of love as it was made to be”